This one is courtesy My fave writer of all time,..the one and only Mahesh Murthy...
This appeared in the BWorld Column of his "On the Contrary" recently..
Wanted to showcase this piece of inspiration...Thanks Mahesh if you ever get to see this...
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Be peer-pressured or be peerless
All our lives, we’re made to feel insecure when compared with peers. It is important
not to give in
Second in class! So X came first again? What's wrong with you - aren't you good enough?" Perhaps you've grown up hearing lines like this through childhood. I did.
Comparisons like this can be the most noxious things to happen. It took me a long while to dig myself out from the mess of others' expectations. But emerge I did - with a clear belief that not just will I steer clear of such benchmarking in my adult life, I will never submit my kid to such psychological warfare.
The horrible habit doesn't end at school. I've seen college students wrenching their guts over some classmate who got the best-paying job at placement time, someone else who got the university gold, some other applicant who got the full overseas tuition waiver. And in all my talks at colleges, I spend more time on this than on any other fundamental of business.
It's hard to tell people that comparisons are a waste of time - so deeply-ingrained in our psyche is this peer-pressure nonsense. But two things clear up the clouds. One is a statement (and I have no hard statistics, only overwhelming anecdotal evidence) that most of these toppers, gold medal winners, - the envied ones - typically end up nowhere, compared to where you are or where you can be.
And even if they've, it's not where you want to be. Sure, your roommate at Powai ended up earning $150K at Goldman Sachs writing research reports on stocks he knows nothing about, living on a lifestyle conveyor belt he can't get off. But is that why you went to IIT to do your B. Tech? Careful what you envy. You might actually get it, and regret it for the rest of your life.
The second is a more basic belief: that all human beings are unique. Nothing too earth-shattering, except when you apply it to your career. Think about it. You're different from every one of your batchmates, aren't you? Your combination of talent, personality, likes and dislikes is what sets you apart from everybody else. You haven't met anybody like you - and you're as individual as your fingerprint, to sound like bad advertising copy. You'll agree that your perfect career is one that will 'fit' your talent and personality to a T. And by the same logic, your perfect career won't suit anyone else - just as anyone else's perfect career won't suit you.
But if all this were true, as you're nodding in agreement, why the heck did you apply and fight for the same jobs and write the same exams? Why are you benchmarking yourself against that colleague from MBA class who is a VP while you're still an assistant vice-president? Why should you bother that X has a better car, that Y was given a bigger company flat, and that Z married into a richer family than you did? Would being in X, Y or Z's place really make your life suddenly more meaningful?
It's a hard one to get your head around. But that doesn't make it any less true: envy is a pointless emotion when it comes to your career. Or even life. At the root of envy is your insecurity about yourself - and your true worth. And insecurity is a great mirage that the system (including us marketing types) have a vested interest in seeing continue.
If you really believed (like many of us do) that people should judge you for your brains and not your looks, you'd put Lakme and L'Oreal out of business. Advertisers, parents, the establishment - all know their job is to make you feel insecure - so you're conned into thinking that only if you use the right shampoo will you find the right guy, or use the right cologne to find the right girl, or top your class to find the right career. Balderdash.
What sets successes apart from also-rans is not the right fairness cream or education or marksheet - but the strength to reject the notion that there's anything wrong with you, or that you need to be like anyone else.
Read up about biographies of people you admire. You won't find wardrobes or accents or family pressure in common, but a common belief that they didn't give a damn about wanting to be like their peers.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Monday, October 18, 2004
One Dimensional Motion- A travelogue
I am a passenger train chuggin along pointlessly in the middle of a desert towards apparently a place called paradise which people tell me is not too far away. But what is that paradise? Dont know...Well actually I know, It's doing what I wanna do and bein what I wanna be..
But why am I doing things I dont normally do and being all but myself leave alone what I wanna be..to apparently get to where I wanna go? Good question..and cannot have an answer as its a good question...Well, Mirages there are many in any desert journey, and oases there are too, which a few noble souls will descry without much ado...
But the point is I need to get multi dimensional..that is jump,skid and race along like a mountain bike in the same desert....How? Don't know...Hey its very easy for the philosophers and the "Mind Relax Please" authors to rattle off adage after anecdote on enjoying the process and not focusing on the end result...
How do I transform the desert into a playground? Really am as clueless as a baby in a strip club...But one thing to draw solace is though the dimension of space is boundless...the journey is time bound and eventually I will run out of time...Which will signal the end of my quest...Mebbe we should Ask time whether my quest will bear fruit...I dont plan to ask...One thing i like about this journey of mine is its suspense...
But a travel diary can't digress more than this...So while the journey continues...the travelogue stops...
But why am I doing things I dont normally do and being all but myself leave alone what I wanna be..to apparently get to where I wanna go? Good question..and cannot have an answer as its a good question...Well, Mirages there are many in any desert journey, and oases there are too, which a few noble souls will descry without much ado...
But the point is I need to get multi dimensional..that is jump,skid and race along like a mountain bike in the same desert....How? Don't know...Hey its very easy for the philosophers and the "Mind Relax Please" authors to rattle off adage after anecdote on enjoying the process and not focusing on the end result...
How do I transform the desert into a playground? Really am as clueless as a baby in a strip club...But one thing to draw solace is though the dimension of space is boundless...the journey is time bound and eventually I will run out of time...Which will signal the end of my quest...Mebbe we should Ask time whether my quest will bear fruit...I dont plan to ask...One thing i like about this journey of mine is its suspense...
But a travel diary can't digress more than this...So while the journey continues...the travelogue stops...
Thursday, October 14, 2004
MentalDisintegration from within...
Courtesy : Wisden Cricinfo and one of its better columnists, Dileep Premchandran. I really endorse his views on why the indian media needs to show more maturity.
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Indians have always been generous hosts, but Sourav Ganguly's team could be forgiven for thinking that the red carpet has stretched a few yards too far in the early phase of this series. From the moment they landed on Indian soil, the Australians launched a charm offensive that has had sections of the Indian media drooling. And India's cricketers, except for the continuing obsession with Sachin Tendulkar's tennis elbow, have quickly become supplementary news.
This morning, a national newspaper carried a huge photograph and news item on Adam Gilchrist's visit to one of Chennai's poorer slums, and how he almost ate – given the dietary rules most of these players follow, there was never the slightest chance – dosas made by a woman on the street. There were echoes of Steve Waugh's work with underprivileged children at Udayan, and while cricketers championing such causes is laudable, one only has to see the other side of the media-coverage coin to realise that something isn't right.
After India lost at Bangalore, columnists went to town – most, it must be said, far from the madding crowds and heat of battle – debating whether this team earns its keep. Each Indian defeat is an excuse for these [fifth] columnists to come out and spew facts and figures about X's endorsement deals, or question the rationale behind awarding Y a central contract.
This is a scarcely ingenious tactic borrowed from English tabloids, for whom Wayne Rooney is the next best thing when fit and scoring goals, and a foolish skirt-chaser with no intelligence when out of the spotlight. Contrast that with Australia, where not a soul regurgitated the fine print in Gilchrist's Puma contract or the retainer that Cricket Australia paid Steve Waugh after the team had batted like schoolboys en route to surrendering the Adelaide Test to India last December.
Criticism of Ganguly, usually from disgruntled former greats who missed the endorsement gravy-train, is just as laughable. Geniuses who couldn't buy a win even on home soil are suddenly questioning the attitude and commitment of a man who has won 15 Tests as captain of India, and lost only two – both to Australia – on home turf. India were outplayed at Bangalore, especially over the first two days when Michael Clarke and a rejuvenated Glenn McGrath took centre stage, but competed well thereafter - and even Gilchrist admitted that they had been on the receiving end of the many umpiring gaffes.
There is no disgrace in defeat, or in being outplayed by a superior side, especially if you toil as hard as Harbhajan Singh, Irfan Pathan and Rahul Dravid did in the latter stages of the match. Darren Lehmann had a dreadful game with the bat for Australia, but how many hatchet jobs did you see in the Australian newspapers?
Instead, what we see are stories trumpeting Lehmann's selfless remarks about Clarke. While there's no doubt that Lehmann's attitude to the game has changed drastically in the aftermath of David Hookes's tragic death, there's no need to play up what was probably an off-the-cuff remark in the first place. It becomes worse when some take the quote and run with it, implying that Indian players are selfish and deliver only when their place in the side is at stake.
It doesn't help that media coverage is hopelessly skewed. Two Australian journalists attended Ganguly's press conference this afternoon, while there will be over a hundred Indians documenting ever little word that Gilchrist utters later this afternoon. Each mainstream Indian newspaper devotes a column, or two, to an Australian view, and some of it is nothing but thinly veiled putting-down of Ganguly and his team. Ian Healy suggested that India's batsmen had let down their slow bowlers in Bangalore, as if it was a deliberate act.
With the exception of publications like Inside Cricket and Inside Sport, the Australian media can't even be bothered with an Indian perspective. You don't see Sunil Gavaskar expounding on an Australian batsman's dodgy technique against Harbhajan, or on the absurdly defensive fields that Shane Warne bowled to for much of India's second innings. Instead, you will read tomorrow how Australia's finest will step on to the Chepauk turf to honour Keith Miller's memory, just as they had made homage to Sir Donald Bradman three years ago by thumping India at the Wankhede Stadium.
Australia will come hard at India in this game, black armbands and all. And they won't resort to much mental disintegration – Steve Waugh's watchword has been largely ignored by the current outfit – either, at least not overtly. Not that they need to, when sections of the Indian media are sledging their own team far more than a McGrath or Warne ever did.
***********************************************
Indians have always been generous hosts, but Sourav Ganguly's team could be forgiven for thinking that the red carpet has stretched a few yards too far in the early phase of this series. From the moment they landed on Indian soil, the Australians launched a charm offensive that has had sections of the Indian media drooling. And India's cricketers, except for the continuing obsession with Sachin Tendulkar's tennis elbow, have quickly become supplementary news.
This morning, a national newspaper carried a huge photograph and news item on Adam Gilchrist's visit to one of Chennai's poorer slums, and how he almost ate – given the dietary rules most of these players follow, there was never the slightest chance – dosas made by a woman on the street. There were echoes of Steve Waugh's work with underprivileged children at Udayan, and while cricketers championing such causes is laudable, one only has to see the other side of the media-coverage coin to realise that something isn't right.
After India lost at Bangalore, columnists went to town – most, it must be said, far from the madding crowds and heat of battle – debating whether this team earns its keep. Each Indian defeat is an excuse for these [fifth] columnists to come out and spew facts and figures about X's endorsement deals, or question the rationale behind awarding Y a central contract.
This is a scarcely ingenious tactic borrowed from English tabloids, for whom Wayne Rooney is the next best thing when fit and scoring goals, and a foolish skirt-chaser with no intelligence when out of the spotlight. Contrast that with Australia, where not a soul regurgitated the fine print in Gilchrist's Puma contract or the retainer that Cricket Australia paid Steve Waugh after the team had batted like schoolboys en route to surrendering the Adelaide Test to India last December.
Criticism of Ganguly, usually from disgruntled former greats who missed the endorsement gravy-train, is just as laughable. Geniuses who couldn't buy a win even on home soil are suddenly questioning the attitude and commitment of a man who has won 15 Tests as captain of India, and lost only two – both to Australia – on home turf. India were outplayed at Bangalore, especially over the first two days when Michael Clarke and a rejuvenated Glenn McGrath took centre stage, but competed well thereafter - and even Gilchrist admitted that they had been on the receiving end of the many umpiring gaffes.
There is no disgrace in defeat, or in being outplayed by a superior side, especially if you toil as hard as Harbhajan Singh, Irfan Pathan and Rahul Dravid did in the latter stages of the match. Darren Lehmann had a dreadful game with the bat for Australia, but how many hatchet jobs did you see in the Australian newspapers?
Instead, what we see are stories trumpeting Lehmann's selfless remarks about Clarke. While there's no doubt that Lehmann's attitude to the game has changed drastically in the aftermath of David Hookes's tragic death, there's no need to play up what was probably an off-the-cuff remark in the first place. It becomes worse when some take the quote and run with it, implying that Indian players are selfish and deliver only when their place in the side is at stake.
It doesn't help that media coverage is hopelessly skewed. Two Australian journalists attended Ganguly's press conference this afternoon, while there will be over a hundred Indians documenting ever little word that Gilchrist utters later this afternoon. Each mainstream Indian newspaper devotes a column, or two, to an Australian view, and some of it is nothing but thinly veiled putting-down of Ganguly and his team. Ian Healy suggested that India's batsmen had let down their slow bowlers in Bangalore, as if it was a deliberate act.
With the exception of publications like Inside Cricket and Inside Sport, the Australian media can't even be bothered with an Indian perspective. You don't see Sunil Gavaskar expounding on an Australian batsman's dodgy technique against Harbhajan, or on the absurdly defensive fields that Shane Warne bowled to for much of India's second innings. Instead, you will read tomorrow how Australia's finest will step on to the Chepauk turf to honour Keith Miller's memory, just as they had made homage to Sir Donald Bradman three years ago by thumping India at the Wankhede Stadium.
Australia will come hard at India in this game, black armbands and all. And they won't resort to much mental disintegration – Steve Waugh's watchword has been largely ignored by the current outfit – either, at least not overtly. Not that they need to, when sections of the Indian media are sledging their own team far more than a McGrath or Warne ever did.
Friday, October 08, 2004
Crazy Bugger
Well...That is me...
When a man knows that India is gonna lose a test match fair and square....a soul still nurtures hope of the miraculous...That india will pull off another great escape...Pipe dream for most..But I happen to be a mad cricket fan...not a rare species in this country...And am going ahead with my plan to visit the Chinnasamy stadium in Blore from my current place of livelihood (Hate to use this term though) Hyderabad...
Foolish to many but my alter ego just wont allow me to miss an India Aus series that happens in the country of my existence...A bit of braggin here....I watched 3 days of the 1998 test and all five days of the 2001 test agnst the aussies in my beloved MAC ...
Of course there are a few ppl in blore with whom i need to spend time with...Not least of all my mom....
so its ok..so here i am on my way to bangalore...So Makki and all u ppl who see this blog from Blore...make some time for this fool...
I will be there tomorrow...
When a man knows that India is gonna lose a test match fair and square....a soul still nurtures hope of the miraculous...That india will pull off another great escape...Pipe dream for most..But I happen to be a mad cricket fan...not a rare species in this country...And am going ahead with my plan to visit the Chinnasamy stadium in Blore from my current place of livelihood (Hate to use this term though) Hyderabad...
Foolish to many but my alter ego just wont allow me to miss an India Aus series that happens in the country of my existence...A bit of braggin here....I watched 3 days of the 1998 test and all five days of the 2001 test agnst the aussies in my beloved MAC ...
Of course there are a few ppl in blore with whom i need to spend time with...Not least of all my mom....
so its ok..so here i am on my way to bangalore...So Makki and all u ppl who see this blog from Blore...make some time for this fool...
I will be there tomorrow...
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