The Layman on a Eurotrip - Volume 3 - "Italia or Ind-alia?"

Sorry for keeping all you guys waiting for this third volume of the travelogue.

And I still am gonna adhere to freewheeling, self-discretionary writing, and will cover things that are not “travelogical” in this one too. But I know that entertainment value ARE important – as I read through ALL of your feedback, rest assured on that aspect. Enough of the first paragraph BS – here is the third volume.

This one is NOT the Italy travelog. Given how much I missed India lately and the festive season that just ended, I thought I had to post something related to our great country soon, but little did I know that I would get such a lovely thematic fit. On that jubilant note – here I present – “Indalia”

Italy for one can be called Ind-aly or “Indalia” and get away with it – because of the HUGE and sometimes disturbing resemblence to India. Why?

1. There is absolutely NO traffic sense. When I first landed in Milano and crossed the road – there were vehicles rushing from all directions when the signal showed a red. People, like India, just didn’t care, as there was no police guy around. I figured out very quickly that signals are mostly to be used at one’s own peril. But what the hell, I have been in Hyderabad, where one can peacefully cross ANY crowded road anywhere, without waiting for a zebra crossing or for the traffic to reduce – so I coped well with this situation I must say;). Nevertheless – I felt at home in Milano immediately.
2. Trenitalia will give Indian Railways and its ill-maintained trains a run for its money. To the last cent. Even with 24 years of experience with Laloo’s fleet of stinking trains, I could just not enter the Venezia- Bologna toilet (which by the way was the first time I tried the train’s loo in Italy), and my survival instinct prevailed over my sense of urgency (tenesmous? Is that the word Rosenblum taught us?). The unfortunate thing is that some of the other European countries that Trenitalia enters have to live with the unmitigated negligence of the people who run this railway company – and endure its package of stinking toilets.
3. Ofcourse – time adherence will NOT be found in Trenitalia’s resume. I missed a connecting train from Milano in the early morning due to a 45 minute delay by the previous train I took (funny, considering the fact that the train journey in itself lasted only 2 hours) – HUGE for Europe. And yeah there went my 10 euros I paid as reservation for this train from Milano to Paris;(. Unfriendly people at the ticket counters add to travelers woes to ensure that the Trenitalia experience is very close to the Indian Railways experience. Laloo rocks. He is atleast trying to improve our own mammoth with the little money he has. Go on Laloo…you are bound to surpass Trenitalia soon.
4. Continuing on Trenitalia – it sure amuses you with its notices on Smoking – there was one particularly hilarious sign which said something to the effect of “No smoking on this train, even if there are other signs which say on the contrary!”. Trenitalia was the only railway line I saw which threatened a 8 euro hefty;) fine for smokers caught on the train, ofcourse I could see people happily break the rule and get away. Need I say more when I compare it with Indian Railway. Trenitalia also had the dubious distinction of changing platforms some minutes before departure and cancellation of trains.
5. As Indians who are used to blind guys singing some old Christian/ film songs in the metro railway and entertaining us on otherwise boring journeys, we were pleasantly surprised to see people with accordions in the train – who, were doing the same thing – this time playing some famous European pieces. The similarity with India would never end I thought.
6. Italy also saw me do a 2 hour trip in the train’s corridor – this was a “Ticketless train”, so at 4 in the morning there were hazaar people thronging the corridors. I must say this was a very Indian experience, and I enjoyed it thoroughly – even though the safety freak in me popped up and checked my wallet every few minutes, a la Janakaraj in some old 1980s movie. Thankfully, my pocket was not torn!
7. Pissing on the roadside was unseen and unheard of in all the countries (Yes – all six of them) I had seen. And guess what – you can get away with it in Italy and especially in beautiful Venice. What else could unsuspecting travelers/ locals do – if there are NO free public toilets in the city and the vending machine in front of the loo gobbles change?
8. The roadside on any Italian city is full of hawkers from the Indian subcontinent though I suspect the number of Bangladeshis is much more than those from India and Pakistan combined. This partially explains why we were checked for passports more in Italy than in all other countries combined. Liability of Origin – surprisingly pinched us most in the country that resembles India the most. Now someone explain this.
9. Pickpocketing and handbag slashing – as many of you would have known are highest in Italy – and one of my institute mates had her handbag slashed by one of those notorious bike-riding thieves.
10. For those of you who wanted something touristy as a similarity – Venice is Italia’s Allapuzha, what if it is 3 times more scenic. Rome is Italy’s New Delhi – and its cultural capital. Vatican irritated me with its 5 hour queues and hence prompted a comparison with our one Tirumala Tirupati;) Pisa and its funny tower is Italy’s wonder of the world – but nowhere is it as beautiful as the Taj! And for all those who have watched Godfather will swear that Bombay is India’s Sicily. Vada Pav in Bombay becomes Masala Dosa in Chennai and Margerita Pizza in Italy. Not exactly – but just for comparison’s sake.
11. The things that are similar to India but absolutely rock are the roadside pizzerias and gelato shops (Ice-cream parlours for the ignorant). Amazing pizzas and cone ice creams for very affordable (read cheap) rates. What else can the poor tourist ask for? I actually put on some (don’t worry – only a couple) of the many kgs I lost thus far on exchange thanks to the very tasty scoops of ice cream in some of the most exotic flavors. And, there were a few VEGETARIAN pizzas around – so I did stay vegetarian – thankfully!

p.s – The Italy – Cannes travelog is next.

"The Layman on a Eurotrip" - Vol 2, Berlin - Hamburg - Copenhagen - Malmo - Stockholm - Goteborg - Oslo - Bergen - Myrdal - Flam - Oslo - Rail Jail

This ironically will be a very non travelogical post because, thanks to Eurail and its grossly inaccurate timetable, till we reached Oslo, we were only at railway stations and couldn't actually visit the places I mentioned so proudly in the title of this entry! So much for plans going berserk. From 11.30 am on Monday morning to 7 am Wednesday morning when we finally managed to set foot on a road in Bergen outside the station, we were successfully held to the confines of various railway stations around Scandinavia. I call it "Rail-Jail". But some of the things to come out of 43.5 hours in 9 trains and 9 railway stations were -
1. I can now rattle off prices of the 5 cheapest burgers and fries at Macdonalds and Burger King, and compare the subtle differences in taste between say Sweden and Norway.
2. I successfully erased any trace of the brahmin in me by eating what Burger King (BK) successfully claims in Sweden "We assure you that our hamburger is made of beef and only beef!". What a decline from the namam days not many years back. I hate this fact.
3. I can even pass blind tests in differentiating between Cheese burgers made in Mac and BK. I totally understand the Operations Management case I studied last years which said "Mac is standardisation, BK is customization". My respect for BK and its tagline of "Have it your way" has gone up hazaar, post the "Terminal"ization I underwent.
4. I totally think India rocks when it comes to pay and use toilets. At one point of time in Oslo railway station, I had to give up a burger I planned to have for dinner to urinate. 10 kroner or 75 rupees for pissing! Indian toilets are cleaner maintained for the 1 rupee they charge.
5. Hot dogs and the way Pressbyran (A supermarket chain) runs is another fascination for me now. Hotdogs are yummy, and the supermarket chains like Pressbyran have this fetish for maintaining store alignment. Walk into any store and you know where to go to find a Coke or say a cigarette. Infact, its standardized across supermarket chains if I am not wrong. It was the same in Lidl in Germany too.
6. Norway is NOT the place to live in - if you plan to save money and return to India or Live a life or Both. So too Sweden. They are SO expensive. Scandinavia also closes shutters and goes to sleep at 6 pm. The booking counters were closed, the information centres were closed, and the LOO closed at 6. We were literally stranded the first time we entered Malmo Railway Station in Sweden.
7. Stockholm railway station has these 2 newspaper boys freely distributing copies of a local newspaper early in the morning. Being unfortunate enough to hit the Stockholm railway station on 2 different days and seeing the same thing happen in front of my eyes - I noticed that the styles of achieving max distribution adopted by the 2 guys were very different. One of them was smiling, singing songs that his IPod was playing and murmuring pleasantries to the hundreds who bustled past him, while the other was using sleight of hand and jugglery skills to attract attention. Whatever it is, I was entertained.
8. The card-game of 28. Thanks to being imprisoned in the station at odd hours and while waiting for the next train to god knows where, I can now say that I learnt and mastered this game in these 3 days. I may not be as good as I am in say our good old "4 cards", but I am getting there.

Makki will tell me there is nothing close to a travelog in this entry, but the 3 days being covered had only trains and train stations in offer, and all the trains are prettu much the same, so nothing much to describe there too...But yeah, there are some things I have tried to convey in this entry. I think there is some MBA level cock thrown in too...But it was entirely unintentional, and don't worry, the next entry will have more tourism.

Till next time...
Tata only

"The Layman on a Eurotrip" - Volume 1, The Lille-Paris-Berlin leg

Date : 30.9.2006,
Time : 5.50 pm European Standard time (whatever its called)
Starting Place : Lille Flanders Railway station

So this is where it started, the trip that was planned for 8 days (turned out to be a lot different from what was planned!) and that promised to cover a major chunk of Scandinavia. The train journey to Paris was uneventful, with me gasping a bit for breath due to the usual running in the end to catch the train thanks to chatting with BK till the last minute. Paris was expensive as expected and the Marlboro I got in the station pinched me badly, and that was the sore thumb in an otherwise good few minutes in Paris. I had a taste of the first of million burgers n fries that I was destined to endure in the trip here!

We peacefully reached Berlin, and the two hours at Berlin station where we tried working out plans for the week were mind numbing to say the least, with a lot of complexities and the Eurail website showing 2 different timetables to irritate the sh*t out of us... Whatever, the Berlin leg didn't start nicely at all, and we proceeded at around 12 noon to finally check out the Berlin wall (we now realized we had to spend the next day at Berlin), which a co-passenger said was right outside the Berlin Ostbahnhof station we were in. And all my plans of seeing something huge and historic fell flat when we saw a "kutti-chevaru" level wall full of interesting graffiti in front of us. A few of us did not believe that this indeed is the Berlin Wall! But yeah, the graffiti captured my interest, and some of them were brilliant pieces of art - ofcourse in the sarcastic sense! Some art pieces that ridiculed the commie regime, and how long germany stayed two countries were time-pass level. Check out this pic, that is my tribute to Rahul 'The Wall' Dravid! It was a particularly good snap considering the fact that I do 99% of the photography in my cam.
Apart from that, the day in Berlin was spent at the usual "Lonely Planet recommended" places.
The Reichstag, the Brandenberger tor, Babel Platz, Alexanderplatz and the World clock. I found them interesting, and the walk in the bustling Unter-den-Linden in the evening was something I thoroughly enjoyed. Most European cities have musicians playing on the roadside with hats collecting money. The feel it gives walkers on the road is amazing. Some of the wind instruments played that day were mindblowing and I spent quite a while simply enjoying the music and slowening my pace of walking. Anyways, Thanks to the big queue to go up the Reichstag, I had to settle for a view from the outside, and did some photoclicking that will be uploaded at my photolog in snapfish. I had dinner in a fair, and had some german speciality dish made of potatoes and mushrooms. It tasted good, and it blended well with the beer served at the Biergarten, which for the uninitiated are gardens that brew and serve their own beer.
So much for the day in Berlin, but let me tell you something else. Germany and Berlin were things that I got attracted to immediately for the following reasons -
1. The stark difference in prices compared to France - Sutta refill in Germany for sure.
2. The mystique that I could sense in Berlin, the brilliant intertwine of the old and the new. Here was a very intriguing city with a dark layer to it that I could sense - dont ask me how.
3. The German language, which I found to be more engrossing than French - all day, I was reading out German words aloud like (Stra-beta-e, Hauptbahnhof, Reichstag), much to the embarrassment of my co-travellers! Some of you do know my obsession with getting foreign language accents right! (Sebastian Grosjean etc...)
4. The S-Bahn - excellent train service, free for eurail pass holders and good frequency - what more could one ask for?

The night sleep in a bunker at a youth hostel (First time I slept in a bunker bed;)), and the rather forgettable experience at the wash room the next morning (Ping me and ask me why) were the only other things that were worth a mention in the Berlin first leg. There was to be a second Berlin leg to come in the trip - little did I know about that at this point in time (arnd 12 noon 2.10.2006)
So thus ended the Berlin leg, with a train from Berlin Hauptbahnhof to Hamburg Centraal. We planned to hit Copenhagen by night, but the turn of events since are reserved for my next volume - that will cover the next few days of my so-called Scandi trip. But as u would have realized, the first part of the trip had nothing to do with Scandinavia. So much for planning! But one thing I must admit - the kick you get out of being a backpacker who nomads his way around, little knowing where he is headed for next is something else!
Till the next entry - here is a Gute-Nacht from me....